He wanted Penny happy, but wanted her to push the bounds without compromising him in the bargain. It shouldn’t feel selfish wanting that, but it sur... as hell did. Plus, this mental conflict made him feel foolish. Half the time his thoughts made no sense at all, contradicting and twisting back on themselves, whirling cyclonically. He blamed Penny for his own twisted urges, more rightly, for not originating them herself, involving only herself. He wanted Penny with another woman, preferably in. Several of the boys laughed out loud, and even two of the girls giggled at her. She was mortified, but terribly turned on as well. It was like she had discovered a whole new world, one that was so sensual and overflowing with opportunities for her to be sexually stimulated. She was afraid of these changes, and of her urges to do even more daring and exciting things.After the final bell, she came out of school to see Mike standing on the sidewalk waiting for her as she had requested. She felt a. Miserable. Unloved. Unlovable. In her mid-forties still a virgin, and not by choice. No man would have her, it seemed. For that matter, she could hardly bear her own company. "I love you ... ha, ha, HA!"Then, in the depths of despair and self-hatred, the realization struck her. Someone once had professed love for her ... even if it had been a malicious lie. Arlene, in the guise of Val, had spoken words of love. That was enough. There had to be a certain compelling logic in I love you that. "That's not permission, it is an order. Call it a suspension if you must, though it won't go on your record. It's not that I'm unsympathetic, Dee, but I don't want this turning into something any uglier than it already is, and I don't want you getting into serious trouble. I'll see you Monday, and if you still have that homicidal glint in your eye I will send you home again. Ms. Andrews, get her out of here. Use a tranquilizer dart if you have to!"Ms. Andrews urged me up out of the chair. "You.
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